A lot of things can go wrong when you visit another country, according to a documentry I saw recently called 'Hostel'. I'm not talking about unimportant stuff like being tortured and killed, I mean the REALLY horrible crap like accidentally calling a waiter your boyfriend. It might not have been a pleasant experience for them, but thankfully we can enjoy the stupidest comments that the forum goons have come out with while in the
company of foreigners. Let the embarrassment begin!
A mistake my teacher made while at WalMart: As he explained it, in his mind, one add "er" to the end of a verb to make it a noun that does the verb. For example, (verb) hang + er = hanger (noun that does verb), or sing + er = singer. You get what I'm saying. Well, he needed to "hook" something. So he asked a WalMart employee (and knowing him) very politely asked where if they had any hookers.
Last year on a vacation to Cuba I rented a moped and managed to break it. When I returned it to the rental place I used my awesome high school Spanish to say I was 'embarazado' about what happened, meaning to say embarrassed. Turns out 'embarazado' means 'pregnant'. I'm a guy.
The only thing I can think of was when I was in my German class and we'd been having a heatwave. I said "Ich bin heiss" (meaning "I am hot"), which made my teacher laugh.
Apparently, saying "Ich bin heiss" is one way of saying "I'm horny" in German.
We had a guest speaker in my Spanish class last year, and a friend of mine began a question with "Escupeme" meaning "you spit on me," instead of "Disculpame", meaning "excuse me." The guest wasn't offended, but the teacher and a few of the students burst into laughter. Good times.
I replaced "Il faut baisser la tete?" with "Il faut baiser la tete?" Much laughter ensued on my pitiful French 1 skills. 5 years later and I like to think I'm a little better.
"Il faut baisser la tete?"- Is it necessary to lower your head? Meaning: Do I need to lower my head? This was in reference to skiing.
"Il faut baiser la tete?"- Baiser is the French verb "to kiss." It also carries several other...uh...slang meanings. I basically said "Do I need to fuck my head?".
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.