NoveltyMC


When a stock broker (Pierce Brosnan) unexpectedly loses his job and develops the ultimate BMX obsession, he's got no choice but to hit the road in a cross-country bike journey of self-realization. BMX Becomes Me, a new drama coming to theatres this March.



NoveltyMC

When high school geek Danny (DJ Qualls) was rejected from his dream school, he lost all hope for the future. But with the help of his girl-savvy, internet friend (Kal Penn), they hatch a plan so crazy it might work! Through subversive cyber-hacking, Danny's personal data is put into the school system - allowing him to attend every class he wants! How long he can keep it up until the administration find him out? Who's the new kid? It's Danny Einstein!



NoveltyMC


Identical twins Ethan and Jake just found the girls of their dreams, the only problem is that they're all the way in Paris! When they decide to stow away on a private yacht, boy, are they in for a surprise! It's an oil tanker bound for South America! Watch as they hop ship after ship trying to make it to their girls! It's anything but a pleasure cruise for Jesse Bradford in Two If By Sea!

Wow! I'm sure if people actually found The Razzies amusing or in touch with modern culture, we'd be seeing a lot of these movies picking up prizes. Unfortunately, I'm all out of tricks to produce from my sleeve for another week. Thanks again to all of the forum goons for their help, and especially NoveltyMC for getting the ball rolling with his Photoshops. You can check out some similar movies at http://whatavolvo.blogspot.com if you haven't had enough here.For legal reasons, I can't tell you what to expect from next week's Comedy Goldmine. You'll just have to bring along your 3D glasses and trust me that it's worth waiting for!

– Craig "Russ" Russell

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.