AN AWFUL WEEK IN MOVIES

Theaters

  • This tattoo is the most interesting part of Whiteout. Seriously.Whiteout is a fascinating documentary about Liquid Paper, from the makers of Helvetica -- no wait, it's a shitty mash-up of better movies. Protip: If a shower scene adds nothing to a B-movie, the whole project was doomed from the start.
  • Dear filmmakers: Please stop making documentaries about fashion like The September Issue. No one cares. Love, Something Awful.

DVD/Blu-Ray

  • Some would probably blame X-Men Origins: Wolverine's lackluster performance at the box office on piracy. Others embrace piracy so they can avoid crap like X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And so it goes.
  • Next Day Air holds promise for fans of action-comedies, but as a name for a director, Benny Boom ranks right down there with McG. Sorry, Mike Epps, but it doesn't look like your big break will come any time in the next decade.

– Ian "ProfessorClumsy" Maddison and Ben "Slvbarek" Altenberg

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