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American Brass Balls

Tuesday, March 25, 2003 Update by Josh "Livestock" Boruff

American Brass Balls, submitted by Ron. What better way to triumphantly announce to the world that you're a goddamn redneck pile of trash than with a classy replica of a man's scrotum? Leave it to Saddam and the Iraqis to break down barriers and open up whole new world of gay sex toys masquerading as symbols of American pride. Yeah, obviously these aren't really sex toys, because you'd probably injure yourself doing anything dirty with them. That still doesn't change the fact that THESE ARE REPLICAS OF TESTICLES MADE WITH AMERICAN PRIDE.

Honestly, I'm trying to love my country as much as possible here, but it's getting more and more difficult each day. Attaching an American flag to everything we possibly can is one thing, but building brass testicles goes a little too far into the land of complete retardation. If anybody can tell me how this promotes America, the land of the free and home of the brave in a positive way, please do so. Stuff like this makes me want to enlist in the Iraqi army.

American Brass Balls merchandise comes in many flavors of idiocy, from tie pens to sweat shirts to giant scrotal monuments to put on your desk. You can also read comments from satisifed morons who purchased these wonders while enjoying the freedom that only comes from living in America. If you don't live in America, please don't look at this site and go on thinking highly of us as you have for so very long.

- Josh "Livestock" Boruff