Awful Link of the Day

Awful Media

To gauge whether you're the kind of person who might become enthralled by Professor Wonder's Wonder Factory, please attempt to identify the balloon sculpture below:

If you guessed "testicles everywhere!" or anything related to excreta or advanced-stage venereal diseases, shame on you: Professor Wonder is a wholesome entertainer! If you guessed "motorcycle monkey," congratulations: You're Professor Wonder, the only person blessed/cursed with that unique interpretation of this brown, contorted rubber.

This next one poses an even sterner test. Guess the object/animal/abstract concept conveyed by this illustration:

The correct answer is, of course, heaven: "This gold colored balloon reminds me of heaven, where the streets are paved with gold. And the circle reminds me that heaven goes on forever -- it has no end. It kind of looks like the sun, but in heaven there is no need for the sun, because God himself is the light there." Being a balloon artist is pretty easy, as long as you can call the finished product whatever the fuck you want!

Sadly, the site's promised "Greatest Wonder," represented by this twirling cross, now results in a 404 error. Professor Wonder, why have you forsaken us?

- Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller