The Oregon Liquor Control Commission maintains its own spartan Web site, at which prospective bartenders can familiarize themselves with liquor laws and apply for a license. However, the OLCC struggles with "reduced staffing levels," so they've outsourced some of the alcohol service education classes to private contractors like Bob and Sam. You can tell these guys aren't running some stuffy bureaucratic site by the way you're greeted with a female avatar informing you "we are the cheapest and by far the most fun class you can take." Whoo, yeah, liquor class party!
"Don't trust your career, house and finances to reading a screen or watching a video," warns the recorded message. Instead, trust them to a crudely animated woman who speaks in robotic phonetics! The site, apparently designed by a '90s middle-schooler who'd been drastically overserved, overflows with goofy GIFs and unclickable links (lost your permit? This penguin won't help!). But as chintzy as everything looks, the class works, judging by these testimonials:
"I enjoyed what I thought would have been a very boring." -- Melissa
"Learned many info about alcohol and law." -- Anonymous
"Great job. Time went fast. Questions came up." -- John
"Wasn't as bad as school." -- Anonymous
Ferguson's long arm of the law laments the latest cutback.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.