The Oregon Liquor Control Commission maintains its own spartan Web site, at which prospective bartenders can familiarize themselves with liquor laws and apply for a license. However, the OLCC struggles with "reduced staffing levels," so they've outsourced some of the alcohol service education classes to private contractors like Bob and Sam. You can tell these guys aren't running some stuffy bureaucratic site by the way you're greeted with a female avatar informing you "we are the cheapest and by far the most fun class you can take." Whoo, yeah, liquor class party!
"Don't trust your career, house and finances to reading a screen or watching a video," warns the recorded message. Instead, trust them to a crudely animated woman who speaks in robotic phonetics! The site, apparently designed by a '90s middle-schooler who'd been drastically overserved, overflows with goofy GIFs and unclickable links (lost your permit? This penguin won't help!). But as chintzy as everything looks, the class works, judging by these testimonials:
"I enjoyed what I thought would have been a very boring." -- Melissa
"Learned many info about alcohol and law." -- Anonymous
"Great job. Time went fast. Questions came up." -- John
"Wasn't as bad as school." -- Anonymous
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.