Daily Dirt

Awful Articles

no ur a nerfherder

Wednesday, May 30, 2007 Update by Josh "Livestock" Boruff

Today's update was a ton of fun to write, and easily among the nerdiest things I've ever written. The idea came to me while doing some research for something else, when I happened across a vast amount of information on some extremely insignificant background characters from Star Wars.

The idea that a bunch of characters from the background of the cantina scene would have such elaborate back stories was hilarious to me. It was even more hilarious to know that they had names, their instruments had names, and the type of music they played had a name (jizz music). I found the cantina music to be horribly annoying, like the kind of music you'd hear while being raped by a clown. Finding out it was in fact some of the finest jizz music in the galaxy, according to noted jizz aficionado Labria, gave me a new respect for it and the talented musicians who play it.

I went to great effort to make sure all the references and weird gibberish words were in fact authentic Star Wars lingo culled from extensive reading of the Wookieepedia, easily one of the largest sources of pure nonsense on the entire Internet. I also tried to be as true to the finely crafted back story of the Modal Nodes as possible, so as not to ruffle any feathers.

I wish I could have worked in the tragic tale of Barquin D'an, as it is easily the most sobering aspect of the entire Star Wars universe.

Hey Guys

"May Zutmore smile upon your travels."

- Josh "Livestock" Boruff