Due to what can only be described as the worst judgment call ever made by an employer, I have been hired as the News Editor at the newly-launched Planet Transformers. If you love the Transformers and press releases, check it out. If you hate me and think it would be fun to watch as I bring down a very large website with my stupidity, that's even better.
My two bosses are now Fragmaster (the Planet Editorial Manager) and Lowtax. I don't think there's a health care plan out there that can cover the amount of prescription medications and intense psychotherapy I'll be needing, and if such a plan existed I don't think either of them would be willing to pay for it.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!