Due to what can only be described as the worst judgment call ever made by an employer, I have been hired as the News Editor at the newly-launched Planet Transformers. If you love the Transformers and press releases, check it out. If you hate me and think it would be fun to watch as I bring down a very large website with my stupidity, that's even better.
My two bosses are now Fragmaster (the Planet Editorial Manager) and Lowtax. I don't think there's a health care plan out there that can cover the amount of prescription medications and intense psychotherapy I'll be needing, and if such a plan existed I don't think either of them would be willing to pay for it.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!