Due to what can only be described as the worst judgment call ever made by an employer, I have been hired as the News Editor at the newly-launched Planet Transformers. If you love the Transformers and press releases, check it out. If you hate me and think it would be fun to watch as I bring down a very large website with my stupidity, that's even better.
My two bosses are now Fragmaster (the Planet Editorial Manager) and Lowtax. I don't think there's a health care plan out there that can cover the amount of prescription medications and intense psychotherapy I'll be needing, and if such a plan existed I don't think either of them would be willing to pay for it.
Sleeping with AC is at this point a basic human right. But if you're one of the doomed souls forced to deal with global warming on a nightly basis, here's an hourly breakdown on how to get the most out of your inferno hellscape of a bedroom.
Some of the Internet's most veteran anatomy experts convened to discuss the stolen nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other beautiful celebrities.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!