The Story of Thanksgiving/Christmas/whatever

This Week on Something Awful...

• The Wishmaster's Valentines
  The Flash Tub
  

  The Wishmaster grants some Valentines Day wishes with SURPRISE TWISTS.

• Safe House; The Vow; Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace; Shame; A Dangerous Method
  Current Releases
  

  No-one is safe, except for you. Safe from bad movies that is, thanks to our life-saving reviews.

• How To Make Someone Cry
  Features / Articles
  

  Maybe if I wore a cape and ran around someone's living room they'd start weeping violently.

• Historical Figure Hats / British Judge Wigs!
  Photoshop Phriday
  

  Hats? On people?! Wigs? On judges?! Whatever, weirdos.

• Aliens Unlimited: Galaxy Guide (1997)
  WTF, D&D!?
  

  Steve and Zack encounter unknown creatures in Palladium's guide to Aliens Unlimited.

• Republican Primary Ads!
  Comedy Goldmine
  

  The SA forum goons approved these messages.