Today's update is goofy and pointless because goofy and pointless is good. I was going to write about how much I hated virtually every aspect of the Michael Jackson trial, but then I realized I'd be doing something which I'd hate, so I didn't!
Just three weeks until the baby is due to come! Hooray! I am very excited and cannot wait. It's just a real awesome feeling to know you're responsible for creating an actual human being that's part of you. I'm sure I sound like a royal grade-A faggot to everybody reading this, but it's a feeling you just can't describe to somebody who has never felt it before. In less than a month, I'm going to be looking at my own child! It's just an incredible feeling, that's all.
The CEO of Lobstero, makers of the expensive home Lobster System, responds to recent unfavorable headlines about hand-squeezing a lobster out of one of the company's Lobster Packs.
Should you call someone a Nazi? The answer will surprise you.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!