Today's update is goofy and pointless because goofy and pointless is good. I was going to write about how much I hated virtually every aspect of the Michael Jackson trial, but then I realized I'd be doing something which I'd hate, so I didn't!
Just three weeks until the baby is due to come! Hooray! I am very excited and cannot wait. It's just a real awesome feeling to know you're responsible for creating an actual human being that's part of you. I'm sure I sound like a royal grade-A faggot to everybody reading this, but it's a feeling you just can't describe to somebody who has never felt it before. In less than a month, I'm going to be looking at my own child! It's just an incredible feeling, that's all.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
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