Today's update is goofy and pointless because goofy and pointless is good. I was going to write about how much I hated virtually every aspect of the Michael Jackson trial, but then I realized I'd be doing something which I'd hate, so I didn't!
Just three weeks until the baby is due to come! Hooray! I am very excited and cannot wait. It's just a real awesome feeling to know you're responsible for creating an actual human being that's part of you. I'm sure I sound like a royal grade-A faggot to everybody reading this, but it's a feeling you just can't describe to somebody who has never felt it before. In less than a month, I'm going to be looking at my own child! It's just an incredible feeling, that's all.
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!