Today's update is goofy and pointless because goofy and pointless is good. I was going to write about how much I hated virtually every aspect of the Michael Jackson trial, but then I realized I'd be doing something which I'd hate, so I didn't!
Just three weeks until the baby is due to come! Hooray! I am very excited and cannot wait. It's just a real awesome feeling to know you're responsible for creating an actual human being that's part of you. I'm sure I sound like a royal grade-A faggot to everybody reading this, but it's a feeling you just can't describe to somebody who has never felt it before. In less than a month, I'm going to be looking at my own child! It's just an incredible feeling, that's all.
The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
Do you have what it takes to make it on the ballot?
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