3 points ain't worth it man.
I wasn't really planning on writing an update about my adventures this past weekend, but every other idea fell flat so I decided to just tell about some of the highlights. Its really just a big Daily Dirt since all of it is real. I plan to go to the same event next year, so I hope to see some of you there. We need more wizards so we can fend off the orc hordes and save the Halfling village. My parents read my updates so I left out the part where I do acid and swung from a vine into the lake and swam to the island where I met a mermaid. It was awesome.
I just finished off destroying Egypt and now hold all of Persia and the Middle East, but all of a sudden Macedon declared war on me and I was all like "wtf". I'm playing as Pontus. I like this video game. It makes me forget about my horrible life.
A Message of Hope From Josh "Livestock" Boruff
Frolixo: Livestock, do you have anything you want to say to the readers this week?
Livestock: Frolixo is the coolest.
Frolixo: Anything else?
Livestock: I'm gay.
There you have it folks.
Johnny "Doc Evil" Titanium made this image out of the femur bones of dead migrant workers.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!