3 points ain't worth it man.
I wasn't really planning on writing an update about my adventures this past weekend, but every other idea fell flat so I decided to just tell about some of the highlights. Its really just a big Daily Dirt since all of it is real. I plan to go to the same event next year, so I hope to see some of you there. We need more wizards so we can fend off the orc hordes and save the Halfling village. My parents read my updates so I left out the part where I do acid and swung from a vine into the lake and swam to the island where I met a mermaid. It was awesome.
I just finished off destroying Egypt and now hold all of Persia and the Middle East, but all of a sudden Macedon declared war on me and I was all like "wtf". I'm playing as Pontus. I like this video game. It makes me forget about my horrible life.
A Message of Hope From Josh "Livestock" Boruff
Frolixo: Livestock, do you have anything you want to say to the readers this week?
Livestock: Frolixo is the coolest.
Frolixo: Anything else?
Livestock: I'm gay.
There you have it folks.
Johnny "Doc Evil" Titanium made this image out of the femur bones of dead migrant workers.
Star Wars fan speculation has been swirling about the source of female ejaculation. The answers might finally be coming with the Last Jedi.
Lean in close to your screen. Inhale deeply. Does this guide give off a cloyingly sour odor? Then it is likely the genuine article.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!