Spacecow Came in third place, still an honor! Contains a shiva-like creature with cartoon breasts. May not be work safe, but why are you looking at cartoons when you should be working? Get back to work!
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.