Spacecow Came in third place, still an honor! Contains a shiva-like creature with cartoon breasts. May not be work safe, but why are you looking at cartoons when you should be working? Get back to work!
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.