This article is part of the YouTube Tour series.
After my nerdcore article went live, I received a surprising amount of feedback from a bunch of guys who had way too much time on their hands (ok, maybe not so surprising). A lot of them argued that my article was way off-base: Apparently there are plenty of good nerdcore acts that respect the tradition of hip-hop, and these dudes were going to prove it to me. And so came the torrent of links. To help me brave the storm, I enlisted the help of Satellite High, an Actual Rapper Who Doesn't Only Talk About Colecovision. Now, we bring the joy of nerdcore to you!
Daryl 'Fucking' Hall: Okay, first one is from "Ultraklystron," who is the nerdcore rapper who e-mailed me. Bonus, it's a live video!
Satellite High: It's a good thing he's wearing a lanyard so that people know he's performing because otherwise i think people would wait for him to finish setting up the projector.
DFH: Oh please, he's obviously at some sort of con. Every single person there would just be helping.
SH: Half of the time i think he's just singing "bigga blah e-gah ebonic animated dago manga muhnuhmuhnuh" and stuff like that. "Ugga something" *pant pant* "slow as molasses ... bungie-jumpin' Mario" *pant* "girls with glasses."
SH: Also i know this guy thinks that he's being 'cute' with his song about 'girls with glasses' but all i can think of is him hunching over his computer, furiously searching YouPorn for fetish clips.
DFH: Click "LOL MOE" for extra fun.
SH: YouTube commenter CarrotBank seems to think this is "Dope flow Ultra" and I can't help but agree.
DFH: Nothing says "dope flow" like running out of breath in the middle of your hook.
DFH: I've listened to a couple of this guy's other songs, and I'm pretty sure he's only heard like three hip-hop songs, he's basically only got three speeds. (This one is, of course, "Forgot About Dre.")
SH: This speed is 'overdrive.' It's like when Mario eats the STAR POWER star except instead of becoming invincible he just gains the power to repulse women at an even quicker speed!
DFH: I wonder if he shows girls his anime collection before making them listen to his music, or the other way around.
SH: There's not much of a difference in this case. But hey, at least it's not bitches, blunts and bling!
DFH: This guy was the first of a recent e-mail barrage I got, and he started the practice of "really awkward namedrops":
"Thus, when a fan asks 'well, which artists does [nerdcore artist x] admire?' names like 2pac, Atmosphere, Lupe Fiasco, Eminem and Del tha Funkee Homosapien come up as much as MC Frontalot or MC Chris. I won't purely defend nerd music either - there are plenty of people who are riding it for novelty, writing parody or satire rather than being a nerd who is expressing their life via HipHop, the latter of which of is very close to the supposed HipHop ideal of keeping it real (which for some people, real may be anime and video games), while the prior is basically Weird Al by another name (though, I've known a few people who got into real music through parody music too, so even that's not default comfort zone it would seem to be.)"
SH: Look dude, a lot of nerdcore performers really understand hip hop. I, for one, have an extensive collection of every black artist that has ever mentioned a comic book or video game in a song.
DFH: "Names like someone my mom told me about, a white guy, a rapper who was in the news, a white guy, and a guy who raps about Dragonball."
SH: Thus, when a fan asks "well, what artists does [nerdcore artist x] admire?" the nerdcore artist frantically Wikipedias the phrase "underground rap."
SH: Okay, I cant take any more LOL MOE MOE LOL
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Here are some cool music things, maybe u should check them out. And/or here are some terrible music things, maybe u should check them out if u like to laugh or maybe u should avoid them if u get really angry when u see something stupid.
Daryl 'Fucking' Hall and Satellite High riff on the worst music YouTube has to offer. Amateur covers, nerdcore rap, dadrock -- it's all here! Take a free ride!