16) Hinder:

Midgets and she-males
Surround the Hinder douchebags
Please, don't procreate.

15) Blues Traveler:

Remember H.O.R.D.E. Tour
Big fat harmonica dude
Blues Traveler blows.

Why are they still here?
Jam sessions with Bruce Willis
Give "Die Hard" powers.

Perhaps someday soon
Popper will wheeze his last breath
Into that stupid toy.

14) Thriving Ivory:

Sick dying woman
Feeble croak, arthritic voice
Wait, that's a dude? Fuck.

Imagine Axl Rose
Add whine, subtract testicles
All roses, no guns.

What's wrong with these guys?
They're wimpy, yet haggard as fuck
Meet skid row Coldplay.

13) Saving Abel:

Can you spare a dime?
No one likes crap bands anymore
My perfect future.

12) Kimya Dawson, "Alphabutt":

C is for cat butt
L is for loud and long farts
These are real lyrics.

K is for kid fart
Really, it goes on like this
W is for wee wee.

The Juno songstress
A cautionary whale, indeed
You're no Ellen Page.

11) Nickelback:

I'm sorry, Rev Theory
Compared to Nickelback's shit
You're like Motörhead.

Thanks for the butt rock
And for the curly-haired fruitcake
Fuck off, Canada.

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

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