Yo speaking of titties I heard this shit about pornos. You know me and my boy tucker shot this porno called vice pussydent or some shit (still workin on that shit) and I picked like five different milfs out of a lineup to be mrs. palin and spent like a whole day gettin hummers from these bitches. It is good shit. But dumbass tucker is taking his sweet time editing that shit in itunes or whatever and now I read all kinds of porno mrs. palins are coming up out of the woodwork.

First there is this bitch working for that retarded crippled dude in the chair with the speech impediment. Shes hot as fuck but her titties are too fake lookin. Mrs. palins are rounder with them big huge baby bottle nipples get all hard when she wearing just a big tshirt and nothin under it when she answer the door (like she want to do). Check this bitch out:


I will give her credit she does look like a fine ass mavrick, but I got two issues. First look at that trigger disipline on that bitch. Mrs. palin knows her way around an aftermarket modded 303 and would not be slinging hers around like that unless she was drunk as fuck which this bitch don't look.

Second, I see some stupid fuckin shit on that shelf back there. Looks like some dean koontz books. Mrs. Palin only reads newsletters from dudes with first names that sound like girls who want to build some sort of new country on a mountain or some shit. Oh, and mrs. palin also loves some of the goosebumps and RL stine books, but not none of that fancy ass east coast latte liberal volvo faggot commie dean koontz bullshit.

Second thing is, oh, wait, first thing still with the pornos. There was this other bitch who is way hotter. Somebody sent me an email of her but I havent had a chance to check out her website yet. Be careful if your at work at the faggot factory because there could be some hot titties and vag on the other side of that link.


This bitch looks way more like mrs. palin and those titties look way more real and natural. I wouldn't kick that other bitch out of bed but this bitch here is just something special about that gives me some serious redneck wood over here. Ha ha! Bitch yo if you read this email me we will hook it up while willow is sleepin in the back.

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About This Column

Levi "HOckey" Johnston is a pro writer now and hockey expert since forever. He comments regularly on family life, politics, Alaska, hockey, vag, babies, babes, 4x4s, hunting, and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, and he was engaged to Bristol Palin and had one (two) kids with her, so...I can put anything here? He also fights like a devil and pounds poon like a demon. He's pretty much unbelievable. His life is a raw adventure to the root.

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