Overview: The great nation of Peru lets some unscrupulous idiot talk them into hosting a hot new sci-fi movie shoot, slowly realizes that the movie they signed up for involves David Carradine in a mashup of Blade Runner, Bonnie and Clyde and a dash of 1984, and then kicks everybody out and disowns the production. Don't you love a happy ending?
Directed By: Luis Liosa, 1989
The Case For: By the time David Carradine is finished double-triple-double crossing the protagonists, the bad guys, and himself, you won't have any idea what the neon-backlit fuck is going on. That wouldn't normally be a "case for", but the rules don't apply in...the Crime Zone.
The Case Against: The main character is called "Bone" and he's a member of a gang called The Fuckups with his right-hand cyberpunk bro Creon. That would be a terrible start even for a shitty Wayans-riddled parody action movie, but Crime Zone is 100% Stallone-faced serious, even in the scenes with zero-gravity flaming bar darts and official government penis inspectors.
"David Carradine will return in...Every Which Way But Dignity..."
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Perfect Eggs Every Time: Hold an egg in your cupped hands. Put your hands over a fire, squeezing them together gently to crack the egg open. Try not to let any egg liquid or egg shell fall out between your fingers.
Absolve me of my past fines, so that I may checkout again.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
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