Haymaker and The Vein return for a feast of cyborg-on-human punchfighting!
Goddamn it, if the dog's invisible we have to look at the human actors debasing themselves.
The most barbaric thing about this movie was deciding not to burn the film negatives on the spot.
Using the Dark Arts to pants a bully during third form seems kind of wasteful to us, honestly.
Let the spirit of shitty moviness fill you as Christianity goes on trial!
A hoax alien invasion, covering up...the exact same alien invasion?
The South rises again in zombie form, to bore the North to death!
A Romanian village full of velociraptors vs. a bunch of marines...in space.
Bruce Campbell vs. giant termites that might just be the worst alien invaders since Signs.
After the comet icepocalypse, watch Dean Cain re-enact the movie "Aliens", but without any aliens.
Here come the Men in Black *clap clap* They might just kill your dog
Conquistadors vs. Aztecs vs. T-rex, the historical battle royale nobody asked for!
An elite all-female kickboxing squad wastes our time, and apparently dogs are poisonous now?
An alien menace in the Everglades, and Joe Estevez sucks at lying about spaceship crashes!
Corey Haim faces off against roller hockey gangs and computer chess viruses of doom!
Steven Seagal mumbles and glares his way through a gauntlet of unnecessary cuts and zooms.
A holy trainwreck of product placement, bland romance, and incredible gluttony!
Rapping dogs, mariachi mice, massive copyright infringement? Must be another Italian Titanic anime!
Michael Dudikoff, R. Lee Ermey, and akimbo slow-motion M16s in the oil-rich kingdom of Fakeistan!
Traci Lords goes on a journey of vengeance and squibs while making the same stupid face constantly.
Finally, the female Gorean post-apocalyptic sci-fi fantasy movie that nobody was asking for!
An epic battle of half-wits between Paul Reiser and a malevolent office building!
The scariest movie you could possibly watch this Halloween. No really. Up yours Australia!
Come for the lazy slasher killing spree, stay for the world's worst sociology lecturer!
What do Gary Busey, Master P, Snoop Dogg, and Jeff Speakman have in common? We have no fucking idea.
Travel back to the '80s with an American Ninja to stop a self-help book from destroying the Earth!
Ex-Post Office secret agent Steven Seagal shoots his way through Poland while wheezing heavily
Rod Jackson and his team of Italian astronaut puppets fight to stop Planet Gluten at all costs!
A dubious allegorical romp through a Fahey-filled world of Christly hackers and eyeliner tattoo!
A dandy fop dog gets a rhino piss party and ant enema in the Jungle. Weldcome to Hell.
Mission: Unwatchable, now in glorious Italian 3D!
Ever seen a movie the Director and Producer both took their names off in disgust? Neither have we.
Welcome to the interactive movie experience of the cyber-future!
Join us and Boston PD's finest in the subterranean collegiate aqueducts of unconsensual alien love!
Finally, an answer to the question: "what if Predator 2 starred Eric Roberts and was way stupider?"
A time-traveling wizard takes us on a mystical journey to the Star Trek IV of Barbarian movies!
Welcome to a space station where every room has glass windows, and your only hope of escape is Ice-T
Experience the sheer terror of ouija boards and ghost dyslexia!
Alien sasquatches invade the Old West, brought to you by the makers of the infamous Shapeshifter!
Kevin Sorbo leads the most nonsensitardical "oh no, deadly weather" flick since Absolute Zero!
Take a look back with us at some of the best and worst awful movie moments of 2015!
In memory of Alan Rickman, please enjoy a shot-for-shot ripoff of Die Hard.
I’m gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent...to the blood bank.
Come journey with Thor the Italian barbarian as he discovers the woman and the horse!
Jesus teaches us all that a good marriage is a worthless unfunny turd we should stomp on.
Child wizard Bobby and his talking dog face off against the dark wizard Molestro!
A stowaway house cat fueled by rage and tainted waffle mix goes on an '80s party yacht murder spree!
A timeless masterpiece of cinéma rétardé.
Witness the adventures of Prince Pussalot and his dead gay wookiee dad in some stupid forest!
Malcolm McDowell, Lou Gossett Jr., cocaine-fueled Ewok traps, and…a nuclear Y2K holocaust?
Copyright ©2017 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.