Overview: Four hookers are dropped off at a haunted death mansion with predictable results. Thundergod/Amish rape wizard David Carradine concocts a brilliant plan to kill-save them. Meanwhile, Dick Miller watches an old horror movie starring himself, and wonders aloud why he never won an Oscar. The fourth wall collapses and everyone dies of shame.
Directed By: Fred Olen Rey, 1992
The Case For: The first scene.
The Case Against: All of the other scenes.
"David Carradine will return as...The Ghost of Christmas Died from Masturbating Future"...
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Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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