Asphyxiated after sewing himself into Shanna's mattress in an attempt to "score".


Estranged third wife of Jughead. Made herself barren in an attempt to destroy their unborn love child with the antenna of a cordless phone.


Died in what he thought was Vietnam. It was really the woods behind a Vietnamese restaurant.


Like all redheads, after being found guilty he was executed and his body was processed into prison soap.


Started his own X-Treme Christian Youth group based on the teachings of Tony Hawk.


Now teaching Freebasing 101 at Addiction Community College, and moderator of "Goons with Spoons" on the Something Awful Forums.

– Bob "BobServo" Mackey

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