Thanks for shopping at WootBoom, the irreverent and whimsical site where you can buy all sorts of great stuff at really low prices! What's our secret? Honk! Slide whistle noise! See, that's an example our irreverence.
Our stuff is cheap because it's refurbished. Sort of. Basically, every item has been returned by a customer who originally bought it for full price at one of those stuffy retail stores or websites. The manufacturer glanced at it, put in a different box, and then someone in our factory took a break from twerking, planking, and taking selfies to inspect the item and assign it a ranking using our Refurbished Grading System.
So what do these grades mean? It varies depending upon the type of product.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
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