Hey minks, we're going to go ahead and take your pelts, because we use them to make awesome luxurious stoles and you're just using them to be gross horny pond weasels.
I had more sympathy when I thought they were part of the raccoon family--just too big and precious to make it as raccoons! Then I found out they're bears after all, and they have no excuse. No excuse.
How do skunks even stand each other long enough to mate? Not even Pepé LePew could get any action, and he was the mack.
Sure, falcons are pretty majestic, but they're also S&M gimps.
One of these jerks messed up Roy's face. The tiger is nature's homophobe.
Something so pink and poofy should probably deflect the obvious gibes by removing the word "flaming" from its name.
Little-known fact: the wombat has an unusually large brain for a marsupial. They direct that extra mental energy into perfecting the art of being lumpy doofuses. Also check out how that one looks like Salvador Dali.
Hey, great idea, a wheelbarrow that dies if I don't feed it and one of its names means "butt." I'm going to patent it and call it the Magic Dying Buttbarrow.
Some helpful tips about forcing God's Love on total strangers this Christmas season.
Good day. We are Hester and Karl, and we are something rare. We are a couple ... of Stock Photo Lifestylists! Lifestylers? We lead a Stock Photo Lifestyle.
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.