This article is part of the Don Larry is USA PATRIOT TOUGH series.Scarlett Johansson looks like a diabetic sock full of sex, Matthew McCon-us-gay looks like a disease you catch from laying on a dirty tanning bed. This is Hollywood, folks.
Finally, Unstoppable is up for an award. Now there was a film. Of course it loses to a movie about dreams. Hate to bark it to you Hollywoof, but your dreams are for the dogs. The American dream is DOA courtesy of Barry Hussein Sotero.Science and Technical Awards. Let me guess, they all go to the Chinese. Again. Thanks AFSCME. Maybe if USA dollies could afford to compete in Vancouver.Obummer's favorite movie song: As Tims Goes By. More like as Obama goes BYE-BYE when this USA proud boot kicks you out on your A$$.Randy Newman. If I were there in the audience I'd be holding up my lighter and demanding the Monk theme.Hey, why is Chuck singing a song on this commie parade? I follow Adam Baldwin on Twitter and I am going to have a few words with him. Direct tweet.Oh great, the Jew with the Jew fro wins for his movie about Jewishness and then right into auto-tune of Harry Potter. This is like my Dante's Inferno. Could it actually get worse?Aaand here comes Oprah. If I didn't believe in strict trigger discipline my Colt Peacemaker would be in my mouth right now.
Inside Job? You want to talk about inside jobs? Fanny Mae and Freddie Mac. Look it up. Bill Clinton destroyed America's economy and does Rahm Emmanuel go to jail? No, he ends up mayor of the most corrupt city on planet earth.Bob Hope holograms. I think I had a sex dream that started like this.Oh, hey, and here is the guy that ruined Sherlock Holmes, which I could forgive, but he also ruined Iron Man, which was one of the last pro-American comic books left since Captain America came out against the liberation of Iraq.If I could Inception the world I'd put those conveyor belt walkways like they have at airports and Statues of Liberty in every city to remind the urban minorities why we fought and died to win our freedom from North Korea.Gwenyth Paltrow is singing a country and western song? Why don't you just trot out Karl Marx and have him sing the national anthem while laying logs on a picture of Ronald Reagan.Yesss Randy Newman wins. There is some justice left north of the Mason-Dixon.Oh here comes the parade of dead burned out hippies, foreign communists, and homosexual Jews. If I were father time I'd be stenciling hook noses and limp wrists on the side of my hour glass. No offense to the nation of Israel, which I support as the lone democracy in the Middle East.Tom Hooper for Baracking's Speech. Here's a speech for you: Stop trying to tax my soda purchases. If my purchase of Squirt was intended to fund Obamacare it would have been in the Constitution.I haven't liked Jeff Bridges since The Fabulous Baker Boys. I'm more of a Beau man.Natalie Portman wins Best Actress for chooch-chomping performing arts horror movie Swans. If you really want to see horror why don't you google NEA and "Jesus painting."
A British man wins Best Actor yet again. Thanks once more to the unions for ensuring the job creators can't compete with foreign imports.Oh boy, Steven Spielberg. Wait, 10 best pictures? I think they're breeding. Call an exterminator.Baracking's Speech wins! Hollywood loves Obama.
And then the indoctrinated Obama kids are going to sing Over the Rainbow. Why don't you go ahead and spit in my face Academy Awards? Thanks for wasting my life.
Another year, another homo-haunted nightmare of babbling bleeding-hearts and women who'd be better off zipping that lip and just wiggling around the stage. Thanks for nothing, Hippieworst.
Battle Creek, MI
"We're not surrounded we surround them." - Glen Beck
"I was right about the economy." - Don Larry, Super Patriot