Thank you for using eVentPlanner.com, the premiere web destination for your event planning needs! Please verify that the following accurately matches your responses to our online event creation form.

The event will be a welcome home party (edit) for Park Kyung Joon (edit), who is your father returning after 32 years as a political prisoner in North Korea (edit). The venue will be an upscale ballroom (edit) seating roughly 250 (edit) guests. The intended tone of the event is joyous, yet appropriately somber and respectful (edit). Attendees will be expected to dress formally, in black ties/dresses (edit).

Additional customer notes: My father's favorite flower is the violet, which I would like to be incorporated in some way. (edit)

Based upon the above information, your event will be optimal with the following elements.

Table Setting


Little Stone Cold Porcelain Doll Centerpiece - This delightful lifeless baby will provide your guests with multiple topics of conversation. "How much does this fella weigh?", asks one delighted partygoer. "I bet that belt can actually hold up his diapers", another guest notes, nodding in approval.


Personalized Randy Orton Placemats - Set the mood of any event with the Legend Killer himself, Randy Orton, captured in moments of joy, celebration, and earnest muscleyness.


Undertaker Shot Glasses - Whether you serve fruit punch or champagne, these glasses will work. They can hold any liquid. Like the Undertaker's undefeated streak at Wrestlemania, these glasses have not been defeated at Wrestlemania.


WWE Plates - Most of these have not been broken.


John Cena & Co. Lamp - John Cena's catchphrase is "You can't see me!", but none of your guests will be saying that so long as these lamps lighting each table! Please note that the default setting gives off a low, romantic glow which may lead to variations of the Five Knuckle Shuffle.

Food & Entertainment


Authentic Hulkster Cheeseburgers - If you're willing to go to the trouble of serving microwavable flame broiled cheesburgers, don't skimp on any old substitute! Stick with authentic Hulkster Cheeseburgers and your guests will be wowed.


Old School WWF Slot Hockey - How can a party possibly get dull with one of these bad boys? Complete with Big Boss Man w/ nightstick, Sergeant Slaughter w/ munition shell attached to stick, and Hacksaw Jum Duggan w/ 2x4!


Viva La Raza: The Legacy Of Eddie Guerrero DVD - This stirring memorial to the late Eddie Guerrero features a deceased wrestler. Looped on a projection screen throughout the evening.

Take-Home Gifts


Incredibly Lifelike Wrestler Masks - A keepsake for every guest. Each time they lay their eyes on the stunningly realistic masks of Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho, they will be transported to the magical event they shared with you and your closest friends and family. Made with actual human hair and genuine pigskin.

To find out the price of this event while committing to an order, simply reply to this e-mail. To commit to an order without finding out the price of this event, do not reply to this e-mail.

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.