Mean Girl Lindsay Lohan wantonly tore this from her notepad:
Dungeon Master Gary Gygax probably never counted on this being seen:
Shady lobbyist Jack Abramoff writes his notes in blood:
A lot of good men died to bring you the scratchings of Karl Rove:
From within the bowels of the office that brought you StarForce:
Quiet everybody, Jesse Jackson has something to say:
Ferguson's long arm of the law laments the latest cutback.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.