Hi guys. Uh. CoolSubBoxOpener here with, uh, a whopper of a video. Today the postman *pause* arrived with a whole bunch of boxes. Like half of my box subscriptions came in all at once today. Uh. So let's get to it!
First up we have this month's Cool Container. Remember, for only twenty bucks per month at CoolContainer.biz you get a container *bumps the microphone* full of genuine geek goodness worth over three hundred, uh, dollars.
Let's get this opened. Let's see what's inside. Oh wow. Uh, here we have a pencil with some letters embossed on it. It says "Funko Pop"! Wow, I love Funko Pop collectible figures so much! They're, uh, they have no real style or personality, so they take on the identity of whatever brand is applied to them. Something about that really, uh, resonates with me.
Now what else is in the box? Holy moley. This is nerd Christmas! It's more pencils with Funko Pop written on them! There must be at least a hundred, maybe two hundred! I'd say that nearly two thirds haven't been used at all. What an incredible value.
Next up we have this month's Geek Gamer Nerd Epic Loot Chest. Uh, remember to subscribe to their excellent service at GeekGamerNerdEpicLootChest.deal for only $30 per month. The price is premium because this is a premium service only for genuine gamers.
Let's see. The first thing in this box is... 148 games on one controller. Wow! It sort of looks like a Genesis gamepad, only it's purple, and the brand name is Official. Uh, wow! Looks like you just, uh, plug the RCA wires in your tv and you're set. Very cool.
Next is... oh man. Oh man. Is this what I think it is? Is THIS what I think it is?!?
It's, uh, a wall scroll. No imagery, just this awesome text: "The cake was a lie, until I took an arrow to the knee." Haha. This is a really good item for gamers who like humor. Can't, uh, can't imagine a better wall scroll. Well maybe if it had Penny Arcade on it.
Whoa, that's not all! There's something else in the box. It's a Funko Pop figure! *excited sniffling* Guys, this might be the best Funko Pop ever. He's 8-bit! Totally 8-bit! Instead of circles, his eyes are squares! This is a collector's item if I ever saw one.
Okay, we have one more box today. Hard to believe anything can top the last one, but the Bazinga Win Box, uh, is always good. Subscribe to them at BazingaWinBox.cool if you're a genuine geek culture fan.
That reminds me. Some people have been leaving comments lately, asking why I point out the address for every subscription box, and why I link to the subscription box service sites in my video descriptions, and why I also put links in my video annotations. Some of these people are insinuating that I am getting kickbacks like some kind of mega-rich video game journalist. Well let me set the record straight. Harassment is, uh, not allowed. Your comments will be deleted.
Let's see what's in here, guys. Oh, nice. It's a, uh, translucent green key fob. It's got Game of Thrones printed on it in white letters, looks like... looks like they used the papyrus font. This is great because I really love Game of Thrones.
And beneath that is... woah! Woah! It's an entire ream of office paper! On the wrapper, crammed into one of the few blank spots on the packaging, someone wrote "super hero movies" with a pen.
Folks, you don't need me to tell you that super hero movies are geek goodness. What an item. Uh, wow.
This libtard terminator keeps asking for guns that don't exist and I may have to close early out of frustration.
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
My game is funded. Now I know everything.
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