You've seen them before on the Internet: girls who play video games and girls who "play" video games. You know the difference in your guts. One of them is taking this seriously. The other one is obviously just playing at being into video games to look like she is just one of the guys.
Come on, ladies, we know the difference, so stop trying to fool us. Finally, we have quantified the difference so anyone can tell Gamer Girls from Girl Gamers.
LOOKS LIKE THIS:
LOOKS LIKE THIS:
|The word "GAMER" comes before "GIRL." She knows what is important.||The word "GIRL" is actually, heh, before the word "GAMER." Clearly prioritizes being a girl over playing video games.|
|Likes a sloppy slice of 'za in the middle of a hardcore gaming sesh and knows the exact same retro pop culture references as you.||Eats pizza only once in a while because it's "bad for her." Uh, okay, was it bad for Donatello? Raphael? Michelangelo? I think you have to be in pretty good shape to be a ninja.|
|Reinforces your life choices with a flirty brunette hair flip and then totally beats you at your favorite game.||Probably wears make up.|
|Laughs on line at your jokes.||Does not laugh at your jokes at all.|
|Breasts B-cup or smaller, although it is hard to tell because she doesn't throw them out there and you really have to stare and size her up to get a good idea of how big they are.||C+ on hooters. Those are so big and gross. Why can't women understand that real discerning men like smaller boobs and all have smaller boobs? Low cut tops. UGH.|
|So insecure about herself that she might consider going out with you.||Has a BOYYYYYYFRIEND. What else?|
|Can laugh about Dragon's Crown. It's just a game. Whatever, right?||Rolls her eyes about Dragon's Crown, which, actually, is a really solid beat 'em up in the vein of Golden Axe. But she just can't see past those boobs, can she? Ironic, isn't it, that she insists on flaunting her own boobs even though she clearly has a boyfriend.|
|Obsessed with Nintendo 64 and bullet hell games.||Get this: PLAYS CALL OF DUTY. Are you even kidding me?|
|Listens to you patiently and smiles while you describe the difference between a "gamer girl" and a "girl gamer" while thinking you are an enormous asshole.||Interrupts your gamer girl diatribe and looks you in the eye and calls you an enormous asshole.|
I hope you confused girls can finally understand the difference. It's really not that complicated. If you need any further help you can always follow me on Facebook.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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