Look at how much heat is getting pumped out of that exhaust. How many cars do you have? What about lawnmowers? What if you could harness all that into your living space? Well, you can. With gas prices being so cheap, this is a must-have for anyone trying to save a few dollars on heating the house. Simply fill up your car's tank and park as close to the house as possible, leaving only an inch or two between the bumper and the wall. Be sure to keep the thing running on idle.Now remove the wall. Remove the wall, don't worry, it probably isn't load bearing. One the exhaust has a way to enter the room, set up your favorite chair next to the heat source and watch some television. If you want to add some humidity to match the Tahitian heat, leave your shower on and let the place really steam up. Now you've really got that tropical atmosphere (shower concept not pictured)
By now you're probably sleepy, really, really sleepy. You've worked hard and you deserve a nap. But how can you sleep without getting cold? Well, you've just got to rely on man's best friend. Dogs are probably our most abundant renewable resources. It seems like everywhere you look, people have dogs. The humane society is always willing to bargain with people-just make sure you're wearing clean clothes. To gain the warmth that is trapped inside, you must be inside with it. This might seem like a bit of a stretch, but I know it works because someone I really trust once did it in a film.
That's it. That's all you need to do to keep a nice warm house. How does that polo fit. Pretty damn good right? That's what I thought.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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