In 2003, theoretical physicist Michio Kaku assembled the world's first fully functioning time machine out of oily rags and haphazardly stacked crates of dynamite. Over the next three years he visited some of history's most well-known figures with a sketchpad in hand, describing various gadgets and technologies from modern technology to them in the simplest of outlines and asking them to draw their interpretations of these mind-blowing concepts. The results, as you can guess, were mostly childlike in nature and highly inaccurate.
The scientific purpose of his journeys through time have never been explained. Many scientists are of the belief that Kaku was sort of a jerk and that he simply found the drawings amusing. In any case, Kaku's sketch collection came to an abrupt end in late 2006. While working on a particularly stringy section of string field theory, he inadvertently discovered that time travel was, in fact, impossible. From that moment on, his time machine no longer worked.
The drawings Kaku had once adored now served as the bitter reminder of a completely wasted opportunity to advance science, so he shipped them off to the first person who e-mailed him with the correct response to the question "What is pi to the thirteenth decimal point?"
That person was me. The answer was 7.0000000000000. These are some of my favorite sketches.
by William Shakespeare
by Genghis Khan
by Joan Of Arc
by Abraham Lincoln
by Louis Braille
by Nikola Tesla
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by Albert Einstein
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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