The Fantasy is Forever, submitted by ch1cken. Let me tell you kids what! I have no idea what in the name of Ike Eisenhower's highway transportation system is going on! I'm told this is called role-playing, but it's really just a bunch of nonsensical gobbledygook from people too afraid to embrace the cruel reality I live for!
Oh, yes, by all means, live in a fantasy. But your fantasy is going to need roads, right? What about air transportation? Or for that matter, what about sea transportation? Your fantasies cannot thrive economically without me and my rigid transportation system. Go ahead, pretend you are a nubile wizard! But your magic kingdom won't last a day without a good solid highway system for the transportation of elves, enchanted cargo, and spellbound pets. If you want your fantasy world to live, you will submit to the reign of NORMAN Y. MINETA! I SHALL RULE OVER ALL LANDS, FANTASY AND REAL!
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.