The Fantasy is Forever, submitted by ch1cken. Let me tell you kids what! I have no idea what in the name of Ike Eisenhower's highway transportation system is going on! I'm told this is called role-playing, but it's really just a bunch of nonsensical gobbledygook from people too afraid to embrace the cruel reality I live for!
Oh, yes, by all means, live in a fantasy. But your fantasy is going to need roads, right? What about air transportation? Or for that matter, what about sea transportation? Your fantasies cannot thrive economically without me and my rigid transportation system. Go ahead, pretend you are a nubile wizard! But your magic kingdom won't last a day without a good solid highway system for the transportation of elves, enchanted cargo, and spellbound pets. If you want your fantasy world to live, you will submit to the reign of NORMAN Y. MINETA! I SHALL RULE OVER ALL LANDS, FANTASY AND REAL!
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.