I'm not into baseball. I haven't purchased a pack of baseball cards since I was thirteen, when anything branded as "collectible" was a special treasure guaranteed to increase in value, and a collectible with foil on the front was a treasure to be hoarded and kept safe. At that age it made sense to spend all of my money on sports cards, comic books, and comic book character cards, then inspect them greedily, absorbing every detail which had no bearing on my life.
Of course, I grew out of it. By that I mean that I moved on to collectible card games, graphic novels, Warhammer, and proceeded to follow that dark path to its natural conclusion: Riding out my remaining days by writing internet articles about video games.
It seems that the intervening years have brought quite a few changes to baseball cards. Topps has labeled their 2012 collection the "Ultra Stats Series", claiming to present more baseball information on a single card than you would hear in an entire afternoon with Billy Crystal. Just look at these things.
Someone told TIME magazine about trolling and now we all just have to deal with it.
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
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