Here's what's going on. Zipa / DirectNIC are trying to secure another OC3, which I assume would help getting SA up and operational. I have no idea where SA lies in the order of priorities / importance there, and I haven't been able to contact anybody at Zipa / DirectNIC, so I really don't have any idea what will happen. Let's cross our fingers and hope.

Ken "radium" Steeeeeeumpf, our systems administrator and resident coder, survived the hurricane, but his parents had their house and business completely destroyed. They are staying in a hotel right now, far north, staffed by the Red Cross. I've been trying to communicate with Ken, but there's hardly any cellphone coverage in the area, much less Internet connectivity.

As stated above, we're looking to move our servers out of New Orleans, since the town is basically a wet, burning cauldron of destruction and inhumanity at the moment. We're going to move them to Kansas City, a place where the only threatening national disaster is the prominence of NASCAR clothing.

Once SA is semi-functional, we will be holding various charity drives for the Red Cross Hurricane Relief fund, including donations and splitting profits from merchandise (the upcoming new Moofwear shirts, which shall be in stock within a week).

Trust me folks, we're working as hard as possible to get SA up and running again, but it's really hard when communication is nearly impossible. Hopefully Zipa will get that OC3 and SA will be back again, but like I said before, I have no idea where SA lies, priority-wise, for the guys there. I'm not even sure when we'll be able to retrieve our servers; right now, the only safe way to travel 10 feet in downtown New Orleans is inside an Abrams tank.

I was going to conclude this update with something about the authorities rescuing Fats Domino and the saying "fats floats," but I'm really too stressed out to produce a coherent statement some folks might be able to mistake as a joke. At least that's my excuse now; I don't know what cop-out I could use to explain the last six years.

Everybody be thankful for the hard work the guys at InterNIC have been putting in, and let's hope they get the OC3 and SA back up soon. I really appreciate all the effort and dedication you guys have shown. If there's anything you guys need, let me know.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.