After a lot of thinking (by which I mean "groaning while hitting myself on the head with a blunt object"), we here at the Second Life Safari have decided to update every other week as opposed to every Saturday.
While Second Life is brimming with buffoonary, our time and creativity is a more limited commodity. We'd rather produce two high quality, high effort articles a month than four pieces of steaming shit, and this seems the best way to do it, other than making me stop writing. Good thing I stole Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka's soul and secured my lofty throne of Internet fame! NOW NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME.
Where was I.
I thought about seamlessly transferring into that system, but realized that a good portion of you might well die of shock and withdrawal if there was no update! Fair warning is fair play.
So tune back in next Saturday, when we'll delve into our mailbox and dredge up our first hate mail! There is nothing that invigorates me more than legal threats from the Internet!
In the interim, I hope you enjoy this video, which Ignavus made quite some time ago once he figured out how to spawn 1980's pop culture icons in Second Life. You can also bookmark the Second Life Safari index archive, since it's not yet available on the navigational bar. I'm going to go kick back with a nice, tall glass of chihuahua piss or something. Have fun!
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
Second Life Safari highlights a magical and mystical adventure through the bowels of the Internet. We take a look behind the scenes of "Second Life," and present to you the things all other media outlets are too embarrassed to show. Social networking hits another new low, and can only be seen in Second Life Safari.