Look out, world. Also, hello world. I have single-handedly created the opening minutes of a AAA video game. Imagine what I could accomplish with just a few million dollars.
Dead Rising 3
The weird mechanics that made the first few games unique (challenging and often frustrating, but packed with meaningful decisions and consequences) have been smoothed out, leaving a blandly accessible zombie video game with a drab visual style that undercuts its humor, which is mostly just rehashed and made more extreme with extra dildos, stereotypes, or gore. 5/10
Ryse: Son Of Rome
The best thing anyone can say about Ryse is it looks pretty nice and the completely uninspired, repetitive combat does require occasional player input. 2/10
Forza Motorsport 5
If you'd like to access the full version of this review, you can buy each individual word for only $5 or purchase a season pass for $50, which doesn't unlock the full review but still offers a tremendous savings over the six $10 phrase packs which you can buy now. 6/10
"Don't you get it? What we have to understand is it's them or us. It can't be all of us, or one. It's got to be us, or they become it. Then we lose what makes us we."
Expert analysis on the few things your cat likes and the many things it hates.
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