formerlyROSIE, submitted by rudeboyelvis. Rosie O'Donnell used to be a talk show host until, uh, I guess she stopped being one. I don't really remember exactly what happened to her, but I guess some divine intervention was involved and that somehow convinced her to stop doing whatever she was doing. Now she sits around making "art," counting her millions of dollars, and trying to emulate the writing style of a 12-year old girl raised on a diet consisting of Pop Rocks and the Internet.

never been joan
kickin people when they are down
too ez - not me
u r not the target

once skinny u
cannot imagine fat sex
ouch - that hurts
even with the giggle

feels like u r visiting
planet fattie
temporary visa
pointing at us

we are very sensitive
it's not about u
kirstie -
u r a funny beauty
still - always

Well hey Rosie, I'm not going to make fun of you because you're fat. That would be kind of mean and I gave up being mean to fat millionaire lesbians for Lent. Can I at least make fun of you for your horrible, god-awful poetry and spelling? Yeah, I know you're not exactly worried about impressing any Hollywood agents or executives after your stunning performance in "Exit to Eden" and "The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas," but dear god woman, your poetry reads like a series of instant messages copied and pasted from DaIsYGuRl438's chat history. The only thing we're missing here is a series of comical smiley faces and a plugin to let us all know what your WinAmp playlist is like. Here, let me rephrase that:

ur poetry s not gud
sorry plz try again
i cant red ur poems
about being a lesbian

Hooray, where are my millions of dollars?

– Blue Guy #762,182

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