Geeks Bearing Gifts, submitted by Brian. Thought Fireman Comics sucked? Sorry, there's far worse. Take… oh, Geeks Bearing Gifts for example:

Geeks Bearing Gifts chronicles the lives of 3 stereotypical High School nerds (or geeks if you prefer). It's sole purpose is creative expression, homage to my favorite comics, and because I wanted to join the internet comic strip bandwagon. It's updated Monday through Friday and occasionally on Saturday and Sunday.

Sorry guys, the only thing your comic pays homage to is festering piles of stinking, decaying, rabid corpses. It really sucks, and you kind of left a few key details out of all your strips. A few of these shortcomings include:

    1) Plot
    2) Characters
    3) Punch lines
    4) Coherent Artwork

Furthermore, this is not "creative expression." Even Cingular Wireless , the company that supposedly "believes in the freedom of self-expression," doesn't want your junk to muddy up the Internet or be otherwise forced upon the psyches of others. Cingular will be personally calling you up to say something like this:

"Look, we believe in the right to pay $50 a month for static-filled phone service and to let everyone's unique voices be heard. Blah blah since everybody is important and has the right to express their opinions yams yams. However, your comic is very, very, terrible and has an entertainment value of negative five thousand. Thus, on behalf of all of us at Cingular Wireless, I'm going to have to ask you to shut the fuck up."

So don't buy crappy wireless phones from a company that spends approxmently five trillion dollars a month on annoying television ads, and don't read the Geeks Bearing Gifts web comic. It's really… it's really not good.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

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