A friend of mine is from a small town in the Midwest, and he's still Facebook friends with a few of his assorted in-laws and distant relatives. The other day, he showed me a few posts by a guy he doesn't know-- a friend of his uncle-in-law, or something-- who constantly blew him away with his odd news round-ups, strange comments and maverick keyboarding style.
This small-town hero is Cloyd, a hardworking fifty-something family man. I loved him right away.
My friend asked me to somehow share Cloyd's offbeat greatness with the world. He thought I could use Cloyd as inspiration for a fictional character, but there's no way I could come up with anything better than Cloyd himself: he's kind of like a saner Roamin' Dad, as narrated by Horse_Ebooks. I knew I could only do Cloyd justice with a pure Cloyd retrospective.
At first, I was hesitant to expose Cloyd to potential hostility, but the more I read, the more I became convinced that Cloyd was too precious an American treasure to keep to myself. As a California doofus, I too often forget that America isn't made entirely of the shrieking crazies you see on TV and in CNN comments. There are tons of Cloyds out there: politically moderate dudes who love peace, the working class, rock and roll and home-grown produce.
Before we get started, I want to make a couple of things clear. First, Cloyd is a private citizen and doesn't need to be bothered by a bunch of weirdos, so please don't try to track him down and add him as a Facebook friend or anything. Second, this isn't some tongue-in-cheek dig at flyover states or something. This is a genuine, heartfelt tribute to Cloyd.
So let's get to the Cloyd already:
Cloyd's interested in politics, but always comes down on the side of the working man.
Once in a while, Cloyd engages in healthy self-criticism.
When he has a good day, he's not afraid to wax poetical.
Wouldn't want to get on Cloyd's bad side:
Negativity is pretty rare for Cloyd, though. His America is a better place.
I always enjoy Cloyd's philosophy, even when I'm not totally sure what it means:
A lot of guys Cloyd's age would razz on the youth for their habits, but he respects young people for outfoxing the older generation.
One of Cloyd's chief selling points is his amazing way of summarizing the week's news:
He posts a ton of YouTube links to great classic rock tracks, but he also has a healthy respect for other facets of pop culture:
I hope you've enjoyed this peek into Cloyd's world. He has a pretty remarkable Facebook posting ethic, and these images represent only a fraction of his output in a couple weeks of posting; hopefully, we'll see plenty more in the future.
God bless Cloyd, and...God..bless the...USA.
– Dr. David Thorpe (@Arr)