Do You Like Horny Bunnies?

Heeeeello laaaaadies.

Game Plot: The game begins with the protagonist, Yukari Fujisawa, explaining how he is a high school senior, he can't ride a bicycle, and he's not afraid of ghosts. This continues for agonizing seconds as he rattles off a bunch of shit that not even his mother could feign interest in. Then he starts getting into some creepy shit about guys hitting on him and how he looks like a girl. Way to get off on a good foot with me Yukari, we're sharing this hell-like experience together and you start off talking about men asking you your bust size and how you have a feminine face. Well, at least you aren't afraid of ghosts.

After moaning about his feminine physique for uncomfortable minutes, Yukari finally gets off his narrow ass and heads out looking for a summer job to turn him into a man. This quickly culminates in him becoming employed by a restaurant called "Platinum". Luckily for Clint Eastwood here Platinum is only looking for female waitresses, but since he is so feminine they hire him immediately for the waitress job. Dun, dun, dunnnnnn! But wait, it gets better! The waitresses don't just serve the customers; they also dress up as bunny girls. There's some funny business with a blowjob from the female manager and sound effects that remind me of a helium balloon station at a county fair and then Yukari and his new boss get busy on the couch. This marks the first of several animated sequences in the game, which basically consist of a few frames of images looping repeatedly. Specifically this animation prominently features the manager's suspiciously conjoined breasts swaying up and down. It is brought to a close with a series of non-audio sound effects like "THUNK-THUNK-THUNK" and "SPLASH" followed by two girls running into the room. Luckily for no one the red head turns out to be your cousin named Sae (a girl, not an old Jewish man), a revelation that had my gorge rising like it was on an express elevator.

Waddup cuz? Why you up in my grill? Want me to jack off on you dawg?Naturally Yukari contemplates how hot his cousin is in a brief sequence that would make even a gathering of serial rapists uncomfortable and was made all the more horrible because I knew it was just a taste of things to come. Sure enough in short order Sae Rosenberg reveals her dark secret; that she likes to be watched while masturbating! Never one to pass up the chance to pound fist on his horsecock in front of a relative, Yukari jerks off onto his cousin and then proceeds to screw her in an open doorway. The act of jerking off in front of or for girls quickly becomes a recurring theme in the game. Moments later Yukari gets asked to similarly show off his style in front of the blue haired girl with a name I can't remember.

With three down and "tagged" Yukari sets his sites firmly on his two remaining female coworkers; the coquetteish purple-haired girl and the solemn and stern dark blue haired girl. The latter is caught undressing in the locker room by Yukari and as punishment - drum roll - coerces him into beating off onto her face. In a shocking twist Yukari doesn't beat off onto the face of the purple-haired girl, choosing instead to engage in a more traditional oral sex session that ends with the girl doing a mother bird-like regurgitation routine with his semen. After all, what's a good old fashioned beat off game without at least one snowballing sequence?!

Hey baby, we're in a bathroom and my watch says it's half past time to jack off on someone. Let's head on over to that yonder stall and see what happens.Once Yukari has screwed, or in his case beat off, through the entire roster of characters the time comes to start zeroing in on the character of your choice. This is done through a handful of fairly blatant menus where you pick one of the names from a list. Just keep picking the same name and you'll get the corresponding ending and access to a few more sex sequences with that particular character. There are also a couple other location-based menu options, but these are also fairly easy to pick out if you were paying even a tiny bit of attention to the shamefully awkward dialog. Speaking of dialog, I'm talking about incredibly romantic lines like "My rod is at the entrance of her" and "Her wetness looks like it's inviting me to stick in her [sic]". There are at least a dozen different euphemisms for a penis used in the game and every single one of them would be quite at home in a kindergarten nap room chat.

Seeing as how Hentai games have served up more than my fill of incestuous relationships, I chose to pursue the amorous manager of the restaurant. This proceeded as planned up until a point near the end when the game tried to have a plot and drama with some shit about the restaurant closing. It all boiled over before I could even begin to care about it and I was back to Yukari railing the manager again as the credits played on my happy ending.

With all of that said this is my favorite Hentai game I have yet reviewed here. That's not high praise but the game deserves it. Let me explain why in the form of a bulleted list because this is such an earth-shaking and complex concept I'm afraid you might never fully comprehend it otherwise.

Cousin Fucking - Some would say that cousin fucking is wrong. I would agree with this person, but this person also hasn't fully contemplated the depths of incestuous perversion to which many Hentai games are willing to sink. They will have you fuck your sister, your mom, your dad who is hiding inside your mom's womb while you're fucking her, they don't care. For this game to only go so far as cousin fucking shows a lot of restraint on the part of the developers.

Beating Off - You know, cartoon beating off fetish porn isn't really my bag but on a visceral level it doesn't disgust me either. I can imagine much worse, no, I've seen much worse courtesy of games like Water Closet. Remember that part in Water Closet where the crazy American guy tied the girl up on the urinal and had men come in and urinate on her and rape her? Yeah, me too, beating off is just fine compared to that.

Snowballing - This is probably the single most disgusting thing in the game. Again, compared to the majority of other Hentai games snowballing is the Hentai equivalent of reading the bible out loud at a church picnic. While having my own semen spit into my mouth is not high on my list of things to do before I die I can say it does, in fact, rate significantly higher than say raping a woman tied to a urinal or having anal sex with my mom.

Rape - None! Nada! Zero! This game gains ten points for the complete and total lack of rape. This is an incredible step forward for Hentai gaming and, dare I say it, all of Japan.

Kudos to the team behind "Do You Like Horny Bunnies?". If someone asks you the titular question you can remark "no, but Zack Parsons likes them more than anything else he has reviewed". Then they will ask you who Zack Parsons is and you will feel ashamed for talking about a web site in real life.When she takes a bite of a sandwich her abdomen distends like a snake.Difficulty: This game is extremely easy. It's relatively long and wordy, which requires a fair bit of endurance when the game is written this poorly, but the lack of so many of the Hentai qualities I have come to loathe really make for some easy going. The lack of "look and think" or timing based decisions further streamline the process of finishing the game as quickly as possible without resorting to the fast forward feature.

Defining Moment: For a game that bucks a lot of conventions in the Hentai genre the defining moment should be emblematic of all this. When the pink haired girl is introduced your character remarks that she is obviously younger than him (a high school senior). I immediately assumed that she was the requisite jailbait character. Alas and alack, she turned out to be the oldest of all of the girls employed at the restaurant and merely acted childish. While this could be just a bit of clever translation rather than the actual omission of a underaged-but-not-actually-underaged character it doesn't really matter. They put the effort in and it pleases me.

Final Thoughts: I can honestly say that this game was a pleasant surprise and I hope it marks a turn for the better for Hentai games. I don't expect a lot. I don't expect them to actually make the gameplay component fun, transform them into something that is genuinely erotic, feature translations that aren't embarrassing to read, or have audio that doesn't consist of thirty minutes of Japanese women making really bad sucking sounds. That sort of feat would be superhuman. It's not like I'm even actually offended by most of the horrible shit in these games anyway, but I do recognize that it is "horrible shit". What's closest to actually being offensive to me is that they cram all of the same awful perversion into every single goddamn one of the games. It's all rape, underage girl, incest, pissing. It's as predictable as sex scene in a normal porno movie, and it's lame. "Do You Like Horny Bunnies?" avoids these tired conventions in a manner that borders on admirable.