3D Slut

Okay, defrib her once and then we'll call it at...time? 3:07 AM.Game Concept: "3D Slut" is a fairly robust but straightforward sex simulation using polygonal characters that look exported directly from the Poser stock library and getting it on in various poorly realized environments. For those of you not familiar with Poser models, they are fairly high quality 3D rendering models that are extremely difficult to make look like anything besides a corpse. They have a sort of frozen crispness to the way they look that is more than a little disconcerting. Taking these models, animating them, and adding some simplistic belly tattoo textures does not do a whole lot to hide how creepy they are. Add in the fact that 3D slut uses some pretty severe light sourcing and you've got the equivalent of holding a flashlight underneath the face of the freak from the movie "Mask".

The game's opening screen allows you to select from one of eight women to be the subject of your virtual affections and then choose from one of the eight women and two male models to be your stand-in. Once you've got those picked you can choose from one of the game's environments, which include a "backyard" that looks like a warehouse loading dock, a gynecologists office, the Oval Office, and a bathroom among others. The environments actually do provide more than just scenery, and each has access to a different set of sexual positions as allowed by the furniture in the room. For example in the hotel setting you roll around on the bed with your dead-eyed lover, while the Oval Office allows you to spread your glistening corpse companion across the desk like carcass peanut butter.

After selecting all of the components for your erotic escapade the game pauses while it downloads the components of the scene. I'm on DSL and this download took approximately five seconds, so whatever data is being transferred is either well compressed or fairly small. Each scenario begins with the cadaverous woman of your choice as fully clothed as they get in this game (panties and either a bra or t-shirt) and begging for some attention. Text messages constantly appear at the bottom of the screen throughout the game, although these get very repetitive and are best ignored. In addition to those the woman groans, moans, and occasionally talks in either perfect English or heavily-accented and seemingly phonetically pronounced English. The way it sounds is that they got one American woman and one Hungarian woman to read all of the lines. Their robotic delivery and the almost jarring repetition of some lines contribute to the eerie pall of death surrounding the sex in this game.

Go on, eat the banana.Molestation begins with only the use of the "groping hand" tool, which is a disembodied hand that you can use to grope the woman's various body parts. Initially these are her breasts and thighs. You can also grope her face, which is pretty funny because I've never felt like covering a girl's face with my hand and then rubbing it during or before sex. You do the groping by clicking on the area you would like to molest and then moving your mouse either up and down or in circles. In the lower left hand corner there is a meter that rises as the woman becomes more and more aroused. You can strip her clothes off at any point or leave them on, which causes some serious logic problems during intercourse. However, to actually be able to insert various objects into her you have to get her worked up enough to gain access to the tool box.

Once you've achieved this by giving her the highly erotic "chloroform hand motion" for about thirty seconds you can start sticking things into her. There are a lot of objects to stick a lot of different places, although most of them are just slightly differently shaped dildos. Not surprisingly the dildo, vibrator, super dildo, carrot, cucumber, banana, and cigar all do exactly the same thing. There's also a "lust finger" which looks like you got your finger stuck in an Evian bottle and decided to stick it up a dead girl's pussy. There are a few objects that allow different activities like the "pinching fingers" that let you tweak the woman's nipples, the ice cubes that you can use on her breasts, or the whip (actually a mislabeled riding crop) that you can use to hit various body parts. I was hilariously surprised that I could whip the woman in the face for five minutes straight while she said "ow" a hundred times in a completely emotionless tone. The game also includes the wonderfully non-sexy "disembodied lips and tongue" from "Sexy Beach", although this game gives you a good deal more freedom to use it.

I would say Monica is looking much healthier if she didn't also appear dead.To gain full access to the woman you will have to shift between two different molestation positions using the position menu. There's a "missionary" style position with the woman on her back, which allows everything I just described, and a "doggystyle" position on her hands and knees that lets you stick things where the sun don't shine. Most environments also include a third bondage type position where the woman is kneeling with her hands tied behind her back. The game features pretty highly detailed genitals, which becomes somewhat disturbing with the way the genitals behave. When you insert an object into the woman's vagina or anus and then remove it the orifice slowly constricts back to its original shape. Considering how wooden most of the animation is in the game this attention to semi-realistic sphincter behavior is pretty out of place.

As mentioned earlier, depending on the environment you have selected you will also have access to a varied number of other intercourse positions. During the groping your alter-ego was completely absent, but when you start having sex he (or she) enters the picture. There are usually between three and five sex positions on any given level, and these are all pretty basic and range from two different blowjob positions to missionary, cowgirl, and doggystyle positions. About as adventurous as it gets in this respect is with the woman standing up against a wall and the man (or woman) standing behind her. The sex is monotonous compared to the groping. You just move your mouse around and watch as the penis or fake penis works its magic. That's right; in the event that you selected a female alter-ego she will be using a strap-on dildo for most of the action. The one exception to this is the "chair blowjob" position in which the woman will move her face next to your alter-ego's vagina.

During the sex the camera switches from a "free" third person view to a semi-fixed first person view through your alter-ego's eyes. In this view you can look in roughly the same arc a human head can traverse and at times the camera moves on its own to mimic the model's head motions. Similarly you can switch to a first person view from the woman's eyes to see your alter-ego railing away or, as is the case in several positions, see a wall and maybe part of your hand. Probably the most amusing of these are the blowjobs, where you can switch to the other character's view and see a low-res cock texture assaulting your monitor. Also in the running are the blowjob views for when your alter-ego was a female, because then you either see a mass of black representing the strap-on dildo or you see brief glimpses of pubic hair in between clipping through her groin and seeing the back of a chair. You can also switch back to a "free" third person perspective at any time.

Aaaaaaaaaaah!One aspect of this game that I've made only slight reference to up till now is that you can ejaculate on your companion at nearly any time. You have a circular meter which I suppose represents your stored semen. You can press the button inside the meter and comically ejaculate from one to three times depending on the meter level. The ejaculation is represented by a barely visible stream of what looks like water followed by white sprites appearing on your companion's face, chest, back, ass or stomach. These sprites slide down slightly and then freeze in place until you click the tissue button to clean her off. Worth noting are the cum sprites that ooze into the woman's ass crack invariably look like cobwebs when they stop moving. Also worth noting is the fact that strap-ons and at least one hand-held dildo are capable of ejaculating.

The positive aspects of the game most definitely come from variety and customization. In addition to the fairly large number of women you can grope and hump you can also tailor their appearance a good deal through a little customization window. You can increase or decrease the size of their breasts (or your breasts if you picked a female to be "you"), adjust their hair, eye, clothing, tattoo, and makeup colors. You can adjust her skin tone to one of a fairly limited number of colors, including a pure black and a fiery red color. The inclusion of these fanciful skin tones disappointed me because they were teasing my inability to finally live out my fantasy of intercourse with those blue aliens from Star Trek. You can also add things like freckles, nipple rings, and various bondage paraphernalia like handcuffs, masks, and ball gags. Some of these objects even affect the way the game functions. For example putting the nipple rings and chain on a character allows you to grope the chain and pull her breasts around. If that's your thing you will likely find this feature a welcome addition.

Finally, through groping and sex, you can fill the woman's arousal meter until she drones "I'm cumming" and then the game loops audio of "ohhhhhh" for about thirty seconds. When you have accomplished this you are rewarded with a new button that says something like "click here to access joke room". The oh so hilarious joke room consists of a psychedelic background and the woman you just coaxed to a monotone orgasm. You then must click her as rapidly as possible to make her breasts swell as a meter fills. If you fill the meter her breasts will be quite large, although certainly not larger than some of the more horrifying stripper tits I've seen in person, and then the words "TIT JOKE" will appear on the screen. HAHA! GET IT?! TIT JOKE. I need to start including a flashing screen in all of my articles so you know you just read a joke.

AAAAAAAAAAAAH!Difficulty: The game is intensely easy. You can bring one of the girls to an orgasm and unlock the coveted Tit Joke in probably under thirty seconds of practiced handling. The game isn't really meant to be hard at all, it's pure sex with no padding, which would be a pretty great porn game concept if it didn't look like the zombie nurses from Silent Hill II humping each other. The real difficulty in the game is for those who have never played it before. The interface is multi-leveled and not always intuitive. For example, to zoom the camera in you have to click and hold an icon in the corner and then move your mouse to do the zooming.

Defining Moment: Probably the moment that best captures the sex-wrapped horrors of this game was the first time I engaged in "cowgirl" position sex. Through the eyes of my alter-ego the face of the woman who was riding him looked like a vision of death, with bulging wild eyes and hard shadows that cut ominous daggers across her face. Then she leaned forward and that face completely filled my screen, giving me a fright not matched in gaming since the one of those fucking face huggers got me in the original "Aliens Versus Predator" game.

Final Thoughts: "3D Slut" is a sex game that takes almost the exact opposite approach as every hentai game I have ever played. Completely without pretension, it has more in common with video-based sex simulators like the "Virtual Sex With…" series than it does all but a few hentai titles. Even games like "Sexy Beach" that feature first-person groping and humping also include at least a modicum of story and a genuine if futile effort to make you feel affection for the women in the game. This title just presents them as objects to be manipulated and ejaculated on. I'm not going to get too far into the social reasons or ramifications of this, but suffice it to say that in the Western world (including Europe which I suspect is where this game originated) sex games fill a purely sexual niche. They are intended as masturbatory tools and nothing more. For the Japanese the hentai games fill both this sexual void and a broader psychological void that requires plot, actual characters, and a sort of social mastery over the woman rather than reducing both participants to cogs in a clockwork machine that requires Kleenex maintenance. Despite all these things and my Western sensibilities this game is a spectacular failure as an erotic work. It is genuinely creepy and, though fun to explore the limits of, ultimately pretty boring.

As an aside, there is also a 3D Hentai game from the same people, but it cost considerably more to register so I probably will not review it.