WELL WELL WWEL!!!
Looks liek our old intarnit buddy si back, me JEFF K!!!! and I haev an updaet toodays for yuo to read! BUT soem peopal recentaly sent me an angary emale which said:
DEAR JEFF K!
WHY DONT YUO USE A SPELLCHECKAR ON YUOR ARTICALES!!! SINCE I JUST SIT AROUND AND DRAW CHIP N' DALE EROTIC FAN FICTIAN ALL DAY, I CAN WRITE YUO AND SUGEST THIS QUALEITY IDEA BEcUASE I RELLY CARE FROM TEH BOTTOM OF MY FAT FAT HEART!!!
A HORSE'S LEFT TESTICALE
So I saids "okeys!!! Yuo wants me too uses spellcheacker, I will use a spellcheckar so maybey yuoll SHUT UP and I will finaly reach my lifelong dream of WRITING AN ARTICALE THAT APPEALS TO A DEMOGRAPHIC OF PEOPAL WHO HAEV TOO ATTENDS HOME SCHOOLING BECAUSE THEY'LL GET BEAT UP IN REUGALR SCHOOL LIEK JERRY WHO HAD TOO STAY HOME TODDAY BECAUSE HIS ASSMAT WAS MAKING HIM SNEEZE LIEK A CLEAUNKER!!!!" so I wrotes an artiacale and I will post it hear and run it by spell and GRAMMAR CHECK so all yuo perfectionests out there will mayeb shut up and build a house out of the bricks from yuor butt. so hear si my storey, AND I HAVE RUN IT ALL THROUGH SPELL CHECKER JUST FOR YUO!!!
A STORAGE ABATES HOW IRA AARON FOR CLASS PRECEDENT!
BY JEFF K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
About a Menorah a go, there was a CLASS PREDICAMENT electing at school from tea CALF PRESENT! Ted contestants where John Bellingham (Fargo), Magi Holmengren (WOMAN FARGO), and tea carboy German kid. I said "EYE JEFF K., MAYBES IOUs CAN DO A BETAKE JOB THAN THEIST BOZOS!" so I sadism "OXEYES JEFF K.! MAYBES I CAN!" and so I decides too run Rio class PRESIDING!!! hears how I SWEPT TEN COWRIES OFF THEORY FEET!
1. I made a bunch of boasters! I dint halve any plasterboard and my mom wouldn't tack me too theism sootier because she was HAVING A DISCUSSION WITH MY DAD ABOUT A CITROEN SECRETARY HE WAS HOVERING A SPECIAL TAOISM WITH, so I took Tel posters from John and turned theorem ovary and wrote my name on them and a vary confederate political menage:
PASTEUR 1: "VETO JEFF K!!!! HE WILL BRING A CHICKEN TOO A POT!" and I dermas a pickier of a Star Eras plane shooting Chewable in tee head
PASTA 2: "A VOA FOR JEFF K IS A VOTE FOR JEFF K!!! AND JUSTICE" and I drew a pitcher of a pig on fire! NO WAIT I cant tell watt that pitcher is of, I think its ten guy from ROAST N' ATTACK!!!
PESTER 3: I DIDN'T FINISH POETS LUMBAR 3 BECAUSE I GOT MAD AND TEHERAN TEA MARCHER AT A FANNIES!!!!
Tech pastures septa a cordoned off there beets and insured a quick and desist cicatrix for myself and all paretic membranes involves!!!
2. I MADE A POLITICAL PEACH!!! there was a dabble at paschal and they didn't let me in beeches tee debate titer MR. ALAMOS is a pitchfork and he doesn't leak me bemuse I called his wife a fat mule and stoat tee BROWN DIKES he made for tee PTA LEVANT!!! so I went too tech debate disused as a HARMLESS CROOK and then they started too debates and I got up and said "WELL WELL WELL LOOKS LEI ITS ME! I'M JEFF K AND YUPPIE SHOULD VETS FOR ME BEMUSE I" and then they took me outbid and sestina me too tee PIG PENS office and sent my mom a note on her auaotmeitca note matinees. BUT I think I won tea cordwood ovary with my carat and craniums!!!
3. THEORY TARRIED TO SILENCE TEE WILL OVARY TAB VITAL BATEAU WEAR UNSUCCESSFUL!!! I got my name as a wariest in vote on tee ballet beeches TEE WILL OF ETHER PROPEL WILL NOT BE SILENCED!!!! I maids "write in my name or I will KILL EAR FACE!" and then did! OWLS!!!!
BUT I am raids to cell Tahiti I did not wine tee erection! John won bemuse he sin a football platter and Hz dumb ferns boated for him! HE CHEATED DEMOCRACY!!!! But I will win next year and it I donate Tehran id's traversed of justice!!!
THERE! I hoep yuo enjoyed my spellchecked storey! NOW MAYEB YUO PIGS WILL STOP EMALEING ME SAYING "OH JEFF K., YUO SHOULD USE SPELLCHECK BECUASE I CANT READ WAHT YUOR WRITING" because I just used spellcheck and now yuor wishes are grantad yuo genital germ!!!
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.