Something Awful, submitted by #86/68. HUT HUT HUT! I am very confused to be on this online playbook when there are plays here that can cause us to lose! It appears my team has drafted someone who doesn't want to win or to give 110%! You can't get anywhere if you fight your teammates and give –110%!
Indeed, it has been a year, and I hope that all of you good Americans out there in Americaland are still remembering and not forgetting. Lest you not remember, before you are put to death for being anti-patriotic and also an evil, terrible person who kills kittens and rapes retarded children with broken legs, it will soon be the year anniversary of the blowing up of some big buildings in New York and elsewhere, and also I guess the deaths of a bunch of people that I did not know.
HUT HUT HUT! THESE WORDS STING MORE THAN A DOZEN PULLED HAMSTRINGS! America is a land of freedom and opportunity, not of dirty things! This team is clearly full of players that want to lose the big game! I am reminded of a young teammate, #18. He was a rookie who was young and wanted to reach the top right away. He did so by putting himself alone and ahead of others. This young whippersnapper wanted nothing more than the stadium lights to shine on him and his horseplay antics alone! It was because of the hard work of his teammates that victory was procured! HUT HUT HUT! TEAM AMERICA HAS TO WORK TOGETHER! HUT HUT YOU MUST GIVE 110% FOR THE RED WHITE AND BLUE OR ELSE THE TERRORISTS WILL SEE RIGHT THROUGH!
HUT HUT HUT! I will agree that there is much sadness over 9-11! Over two thousand people died, which does not bode well for America! Two thousand was only a small amount of the people who worked in the towers! Sadly, many Americans were not giving 110% and not coming into work! Even if more died, at least they would have died giving 110%! Let their failures be a lesson and motivation to excel in future games! HUT HUT HUT HUT HIKE!!!
THERE IS STILL TIME TO TURN THINGS AROUND! WE'RE IN THE SECOND HALF AND THE GAME IS UP IN THE AIR! HUT HUT HUT! LET'S GIVE THE FANS IN THE STANDS AND AT HOME SOMETING TO REMEMBER! HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT BLUE FIFTY TWO HIKE!
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.