Kernel Poppy's Kidzone, submitted by Dan. Why yes, this is yet another scary and frightening site dedicated to children. We sure don't have enough of those! This site features the unusual mascot, Kernal Poppy, an actual kernal of corn!

I am yellow
I am corn
Uniquely shaped
and unadorned
When I came to life
I had no clue
about my prospects
as a food
So I studied hard
and began to see
There were many things
I could be
If destiny was mine to choose
It meant I had a duty, too
I knew I was tasty and naturally sweet
So I decided to be a healthy treat!

I have no idea what this teaches kids. I assume it just tells them that no matter what they do, they will be eaten alive. Of course with corn, that's not necessarily the last stop on the journey of life. We won't go into that, though. At least this site hasn't been updated in ages. I guess that's a good thing.

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.

  • Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.