Kernel Poppy's Kidzone, submitted by Dan. Why yes, this is yet another scary and frightening site dedicated to children. We sure don't have enough of those! This site features the unusual mascot, Kernal Poppy, an actual kernal of corn!

I am yellow
I am corn
Uniquely shaped
and unadorned
When I came to life
I had no clue
about my prospects
as a food
So I studied hard
and began to see
There were many things
I could be
If destiny was mine to choose
It meant I had a duty, too
I knew I was tasty and naturally sweet
So I decided to be a healthy treat!

I have no idea what this teaches kids. I assume it just tells them that no matter what they do, they will be eaten alive. Of course with corn, that's not necessarily the last stop on the journey of life. We won't go into that, though. At least this site hasn't been updated in ages. I guess that's a good thing.

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'

  • Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.