Project: Denny's, submitted by Daniel. If you're going to make a shitty personal website on the Interweb you might as well give it some sort of interesting gimmick. If you can't think of an interesting gimmick you can always travel to every Denny's restaurant in the United States. While you're at it bring your corpse-like friends (maybe even one with the nickname Corpse) and rant endlessly about Weird Al while you try to get free menus from overworked and tired waitresses. Oh hey, wait, some jackass named P7A77 already did that! Whoops!
I have been a Denny's fan for as long as I can remember. When I was a wee lad, my grandfather would take me there for breakfast. As I grew older, I quickly realized the benefit of a place where you can get semi-decent coffee and an omelet any time of the day or night. Sure, all the food tastes the same and it always leave a thick layer of grease on your plate, but where else can you get a Moons Over My Hammy? Before long, I was a regular customer at my local Denny's establishments. During my first year of college, I was fortunate enough to actually work as a graveyard-shift waiter at Denny's. Now I just eat there.
I've got to give the guy some credit, he is extremely dedicated to doing whatever the Christ it is he's doing, and at least he isn't a furry doing it all in a bear costume with a cock-pouch or something. He wants to be "wacky" and "different" for visiting a shitload of mediocre chain-restaurants across the United States, but all his bland writing and frequent JeffK-like L33T-speek reveal is that pretty much every Denny's is the same and they all suck.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.