Twelve Aryan Nations, submitted by R-Lo. It's time to kick off Crazy White Racists (Greasnin never counts) week here at Something Awful, with a delightful Awful Link of the Day to Twelve Aryan Nations. Based around the religious teachings of some crazy white guy who died and continued by another crazy white pastor it was actually quite difficult for me to figure out which twelve nations were actually Aryan. I mean if I am not living in one of them I have to move immediately! What would my friends say if they found out I was living in Commiejewsville?!
WE BELIEVE that the true, literal children of the Bible are the twelve tribes of Israel, now scattered throughout the world and now known as the Anglo-Saxon, Germanic, Teutonic, Scandinavian, Celtic peoples of the earth.
Weeee that Swastika is just so fun! Also fun are their many and diverse nutty rants about Jews being the sworn enemy of the Aryan tribes. They even have a part where they talk about setting up a new nation and not only killing the Jews and Communists but killing anyone who aids them. It's people like this who really provide the wind beneath my wings in life. To know that there are peaceful, kind, and caring nurturers out there who just want a united world (assuming we can expunge or enslave all inferior races).
PS: Be sure to check out the homepage of their "pastor," a loveable, kind, generous elderly man named "Pastor Richard Butler." He's Hitler's number one fan!
When observing this fine family and their many compatriots, I could not help but think of the guilt that we all share in lending our strength to smash the moral good in order to replace it with total jewish evil that is today's society in the "New World Order"
If you feel like contacting Pastor Richard Butler and engaging him in a light-hearted conversation regarding his views on racism in America, please feel free to drop him a line:
Aryan Nations World Heaquarters
P.O. Box 362 Hayden, Idaho 83835
Hey, he posted it on his website, he obviously wants it to be public information. Oh yes, and if you don't feel like making that long distance call, you should be happy to know there are branches in New Jersey (201-279-9484), Tennessee (931-232-8259), and Ohio (419-863-3357). I'm sure these lovely folks are up for a highly animated and colorful debate!
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.