Baby Beautiful, submitted by me.Don't you hate how everyone's head looks like a cross between a circus peanut and an eggplant? Well thanks to Justine Dobson's book "Baby Beautiful: A Handbook and Baby Headshaping", we can cure ugly head syndrom before it starts. Few people know that a babies skull is soft, and can be molded with the right amount of pressure and time. This was discovered after painstaking research into the matter, giving babies flat heads, horns, ripples, and even a baby head diorama of the Normandy D-Day landings. Unfortunately some babies "failed" the tests when the doctors applied too much pressure to the head and spinal area. One of the doctors working on these studies alluded to the fact that "Balancing Spinal Cord Twist" had caused the failures, and that there was still some bugs to be worked out. The parents of the maimed babies were given a condolence card with Applebees gift certificate.Balancing Spinal Cord Twist
Naturally excited to try out this fantastic new medical find, I purchased "Baby Beautiful", and tried it out on my newborn nephew while babysitting.
I FUCKED UP!
Sweet Jesus! This is harder than it looks. Don't let my mishap deter you from buying this book, it was probably my fault. Ok folks, I have to get busy trying to fix this baby head before my sister gets home. Oh man, this is wack.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.