Baby Beautiful, submitted by me.Don't you hate how everyone's head looks like a cross between a circus peanut and an eggplant? Well thanks to Justine Dobson's book "Baby Beautiful: A Handbook and Baby Headshaping", we can cure ugly head syndrom before it starts. Few people know that a babies skull is soft, and can be molded with the right amount of pressure and time. This was discovered after painstaking research into the matter, giving babies flat heads, horns, ripples, and even a baby head diorama of the Normandy D-Day landings. Unfortunately some babies "failed" the tests when the doctors applied too much pressure to the head and spinal area. One of the doctors working on these studies alluded to the fact that "Balancing Spinal Cord Twist" had caused the failures, and that there was still some bugs to be worked out. The parents of the maimed babies were given a condolence card with Applebees gift certificate.Balancing Spinal Cord Twist
Naturally excited to try out this fantastic new medical find, I purchased "Baby Beautiful", and tried it out on my newborn nephew while babysitting.
I FUCKED UP!
Sweet Jesus! This is harder than it looks. Don't let my mishap deter you from buying this book, it was probably my fault. Ok folks, I have to get busy trying to fix this baby head before my sister gets home. Oh man, this is wack.
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'
I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.