Worth1000, submitted by Me. These guys are so dead. These guys are deader than dead. If it were possible for something to be double dead, then Worth1000 would be triple dead. They would be dead so many times that it would take the entire life force of Jesus to resurrect them, but then they would still be double dead. Even if you cloned their dead bodies that wouldn't do any good. The clones would be stillborn and therefore dead. If you tried to bring them back as cyborgs they would scream endlessly in a general protection fault until you killed them again. If they came back as zombies, they would be so goddamn undead that other zombies would accuse them of selling out. In short, these guys are seriously, seriously, seriously dead. After this tournament is finished their domain name will be bought out and used to advertise coffins, cremations, and funeral parlors. Good luck in the afterlife, Worth1000! We hardly knew ye!
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.