Balloon Pup, submitted by me.Finally, a site that caters to my unholy craving to fuck balloon foxes! Radical! Balloon Pup is a horrible furry site that somehow tries to work balloons into the whole mess, although there seems to be distinct lack of them. Nevertheless, there is a plethora of the usual "wolf/dragon raping a goat" littered about. Those goofy bastards.I'M A WOLF!!

The only redeeming value of this site is the tear wrenching poem about what it's like to be a furry. It really made me think.

If the true meaning of furry you wish to understand
You must think in terms of paw and not hand
You must release your mentality from society's cage
For furry prefers no race, sex, persuasion or age

You must sort through the hype and the exploitation
Because to be furry needs no justification
It is to reach out and embrace the unknown
To be surrounded by friends and yet still be alone

It is not a gimmick or a political movement
It's nothing so pretentious as a method of improvement
It's only to seek solace in the presence of friends
For when one is furry, the search never ends

It is sometimes to be controlled by one's emotions
It is to often be unsure of depths of devotion
It is the sweet pain of impossible dreams
It is never quite as close or as far as it seems

It is feelings being known without words being spoken
It is the inevitable occasional heart being broken
It is the type of love that now seems cliche
It's experience gained from having learned the hard way

It's a smurgle, a fuzzle, a rumble or purr
It's scales and whiskers and tails and fur
It's what we are, not outside but within
It's the binding force that makes us all kin

It's a howl in greeting to friends held dear
It's a bristling growl when confronted by fear
It's a friendly lick or scritch to show that we care
It's a deep understanding, a compassion that's rare

If what it is to be furry you still don't comprehend
Then consider this advice, my curious friend
If you're willing to respect that which you don't understand
Then come take my paw and I'll take your hand.

If that didn't bring a tear to your eye, then you are the animal my friend. Stop the cycle of hate, and let's just get all these freaks spayed and neutered before they breed. Be sure to sign their guest book , and don't brake for these critters if you see them on the road trying to horde nuts, or yiff, or whatever they hell they do.

– Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.

  • Helping Your Real Friends Move

    Helping Your Real Friends Move

    A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.