I know there have been more furry-related Awful Links than usual lately, but Furoticon will be at Mephit Fur Fest in Memphis THIS WEEKEND, so obviously there's no time to waste. Furoticon is a trading card game that takes the concept of furry sexuality -- already bewildering to outsiders -- and makes it completely fucking incomprehensible.
Players attempt to pleasure their opponents into submission using techniques such as Beautiful Bulger, Endowed Equine and Paw Pumper. The site's color-coded card index allows visitors to search by Stamina Points, "flavor text," Pleasuring Experience and other baffling criteria. Clearly an immense amount of work went into creating a fantasy world that lets people pretend to be animals for the purpose of imaginary erotic gratification, potentially as a prelude to the same people dressing in real animal costumes and engaging in actual sex acts at an airport Holiday Inn.
However, Furoticon seems more likely to generate debate about confusing rules instead of iginiting passionate clusterfucks. This is probably just as well, given the unglamorous demographic reality of Furoticon's target audience.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.