I know there have been more furry-related Awful Links than usual lately, but Furoticon will be at Mephit Fur Fest in Memphis THIS WEEKEND, so obviously there's no time to waste. Furoticon is a trading card game that takes the concept of furry sexuality -- already bewildering to outsiders -- and makes it completely fucking incomprehensible.
Players attempt to pleasure their opponents into submission using techniques such as Beautiful Bulger, Endowed Equine and Paw Pumper. The site's color-coded card index allows visitors to search by Stamina Points, "flavor text," Pleasuring Experience and other baffling criteria. Clearly an immense amount of work went into creating a fantasy world that lets people pretend to be animals for the purpose of imaginary erotic gratification, potentially as a prelude to the same people dressing in real animal costumes and engaging in actual sex acts at an airport Holiday Inn.
However, Furoticon seems more likely to generate debate about confusing rules instead of iginiting passionate clusterfucks. This is probably just as well, given the unglamorous demographic reality of Furoticon's target audience.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.