I know there have been more furry-related Awful Links than usual lately, but Furoticon will be at Mephit Fur Fest in Memphis THIS WEEKEND, so obviously there's no time to waste. Furoticon is a trading card game that takes the concept of furry sexuality -- already bewildering to outsiders -- and makes it completely fucking incomprehensible.
Players attempt to pleasure their opponents into submission using techniques such as Beautiful Bulger, Endowed Equine and Paw Pumper. The site's color-coded card index allows visitors to search by Stamina Points, "flavor text," Pleasuring Experience and other baffling criteria. Clearly an immense amount of work went into creating a fantasy world that lets people pretend to be animals for the purpose of imaginary erotic gratification, potentially as a prelude to the same people dressing in real animal costumes and engaging in actual sex acts at an airport Holiday Inn.
However, Furoticon seems more likely to generate debate about confusing rules instead of iginiting passionate clusterfucks. This is probably just as well, given the unglamorous demographic reality of Furoticon's target audience.
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.