Notes, By P. M - S, submitted by Barry. Many people have said throughout the ages that the Lord works in mysterious ways. This website demonstrates that the Lord also works in really, really fucking stupid ways, particularly by sending angels to talk to some retard named "Peter" and convincing him that it's his destiny to marry Julia Roberts. Yes, that's correct, this is an entire website dedicated to the author's absolutely loony tunes conversations between himself and Jesus, chatting about how he needs to marry Julia Roberts.
Jesus: Don’t worry about your feelings.
9, 10, 97 Peter: The only difficulty is getting to Julia Roberts.
Jesus: No its not a difficulty.
10, 10, 97 I was at that moment thinking of Julia.
Jesus: Truth is, you’re allowed her if she wants you.
Mary: I trust you with Julia.
Mary: It was not your idea. Tell me what it was.
Peter: Something you suggested.
Jesus: I don’t tell you what to do.
11, 10, 97 Jesus: It is not a daydream.
Mary: You’re not quite aware, very simple. Trust me now.
17, 10, 97 Jesus: If she wants you, I didn’t say she wasn’t going to.
19, 10, 97 I was in my room and there was a large fly. I opened the door and went to the kitchen. As I went into the kitchen a fly went past me and out the window. Wondering if it was the same fly.
Jesus: No its not the same one.
Whew, thanks for those pro-tips there, Jesus! Hey J-Man, could you please email me and let me know what celebrity I'm supposed to marry? I'm horny as hell and I wouldn't mind boinking that girl who played "Six" on the "Blossom" show. Now she was fucking hot.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.