MY STORIES IN ENGLISH VERSION, submitted by pr0jekt. Are you ready for some hot hot stories about Japanese women kicking Japanese men in the groin? No? Well, maybe the classic story BE WELL-MANNERED IN THE RESTAULANT will change your mind.

I stood up and slammed my fist onto the fried egg. The egg was crushed.
"My boss is out now", she answered calmly.
"You bitch!" I shouted and threw the crushed egg at her. She dodged the egg and got angry.
"You threw the egg!" she said angrily. "Have you not learned that you must be careful about meals!"
Saying so, she stepped forward to me and slammed her knee to my groin. A heavy shock burst in my balls.
"Oooops!!"
I shouted and fell on my knee. I lost breath due to the tremendous pain in my testes. I could not even move.

I came.

– Zachary "Spokker Jones" Gutierrez

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.