Hercolubus!!, submitted by scrump. Boy have I got news for you! As of this instant, Earth is going to continue to be in extreme danger! It's not because of George Bush or terrorists or reality TV, but rather an amazing red planet called Hercolubus. You see, this Hercolubus is more massive than a fatass Jupiter, and packs a gravitational punch capable of tearing our planet to smithereens.
"We are going to talk about Hercolubus, or Red Planet, which is approaching Earth. According to some accounts, scientists have even weighed it, and they say it weighs so many tons and has a certain diameter as if it were a child’s toy. But this is not the case. Hercolubus, or Red Planet, is five or six times larger than Jupiter; a huge giant that nothing can stop or divert."
All we can do now is pray, and perhaps try to reason with Hercolubus. All I know is that we simply cannot give in and let this mammoth consume the world we plan to leave to our children. Please Hercolubus, have mercy on us!
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Jeff Foxworthy has awakened to the new flesh to tell some redneck jokes.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.